Biggio

It has taken me a while to write anything on here or anywhere for that matter, and not even for the reasons one would think. It’s not only because I have lost someone very dear to me, nor is it because I don’t want to admit she is gone. Weird, eh? Because those facts I’ve known since this occurred. I've only come to realize that I've been putting it off and I haven’t written anything yet because I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to be special. I wanted it to show how much she meant to me. I wanted it to do her complete justice and contain and be written with the same passion and love that she had for everything. I didn’t want to repeat what everyone else was writing, because in my mind, she was MY Emily. She was MY big and I wanted to write something good and right and perfect. But I’ve realized that life just isn’t perfect. And I’ve known this long before, but I guess at times I was playing the part of the hypocrite because while I knew it to be true, I would still feel its need to be achieved. But nothing I did had to be great and over the top for her to drown me in her praise and admiration, which I still, to this day, don’t believe I deserved. But that was who she was. No one had to do anything completely amazing and extravagant to get her attention. It was the little things, like paying someone else’s toll for instance, that caught her attention. It was these times when you least expected someone to notice something true inside you that she’d notice. Things didn’t have to be extraordinary for her to appreciate them and understand their true meaning. She already believed, from the little things, that life was beautiful.

And so, we go on with our lives. Doing our daily routines, brushing our teeth, driving to work, thinking of the laundry or cleaning or who we have to call or what needs to be done. But don’t forget, like I did, that things don’t have to be perfect. Things don’t have to be big and beautiful and over the top, but it’s what’s in your heart and in who you are that stand out to the people of this world. Many may never see it or notice, but don’t do it for the praise, don’t do it for the recognition and admiration. Do it because you know within yourself that you have made some difference. All I ask is that you bring a little bit of Emily into your life, whenever and however you wish, and realize that the joy of doing the simple things is one way to make this damn thing called life beautiful.

My Big, I love you and always have. Thankfully you knew that. I'm glad we were close enough, oddly, to share how much we each meant to one another more than once. I have no regrets as I last left you with a snarffle and an "I love you." Take care and don’t worry, your spirit is in good hands.

Love always, Kate Wooldridge