Emilia

Like most of us it has taken me a while to come to terms with what has happened and try to fully understand why this happened. I say "a while" when it has really only been a week since she passed, but it feels like an eternity since Emily was alive. I don't mean to say this to evoke sadness or put a timeline to her death, but rather emphasize how much Emily packed into every second of her life. Today I thought, "Wow it's already been a week", but then immediately thought of what a week to Emily was. It was ten million lifetimes of opportunity to experience life itself and all the beauty it produces. Every day she had she spent learning something new, meeting someone new, or teaching something new to someone else. I can say with no hesitation that she was a walking saint to me. She was the embodiment of everything right with the world and someone trying to to fix everything wrong with it at the same time. She never passed judgement, always offerred help to anyone who needed it, represented someone trying to make a sincere impact on the world, and was one of the most genuinely compassionate people I have ever met in my life. If that doesn't garner someone sainthood, then I don't know what does.
All of this high praise and seemingly superhuman divinity for one person makes her out to be some unapproachable superhuman, but she couldn't have been farther from that. Emily was friendly, outgoing, goofy, witty, adventurous, and that perfect combination of someone you admired as a mentor and loved as a friend. Some people you hate to love for how perfect they are, but Emily was someone you loved to love for how beautiful of a person she was.
I knew Emily for about only 2 years of my life, but consider her family and a lifelong friend because of how much she impacted me in, what seems like it now more than ever, that very short time. She brought out the best of people and not just so they could see the greatness they too had to offer, but so they could be as overwhelmingly happy with life as she was. She wanted everyone to smile like she did, but I have yet to meet someone whose smile was as wide and bright and inspiring as hers.
I'd often get anxious going a weekend without seeing Emily, so it is hard to think of how incredibly sad it is going to be not seeing her anymore, but I can't ever be sad for too long when I think of the legacy she left behind. A memory of bursting at the seams laughter, ridonkulous stories and crazy inside jokes, unique adventures, and a proud sense of humanitarianism that every person could take a note from. How can we be so sad about someone being gone, when it still feels like she is alive with us? She is alive in us, in our hearts, our minds, and our smiles. I know I will never do a fragment of what she has done in her life with a sliver of the impact she had, but I know she has made me want to try, and I think that would make her happy. All I can do now is carry her in my heart, remember her everyday of my life, and smile.